Peter (*) seemingly sailed through life. Happy childhood. Made it through high-school and college with flying colours. Ventured out into the corporate world, as you do. Climbed up the ladder. Appreciated the view from up there. Got married. Had kids. Nice salary. Living Da Suburbian Lifestyle. Could easily keep up with the Joneses – if anything, he made THEM envious.
As he does you, does he not? Are you not craving the right job, the right partner, the right car, the right house? To make your life complete. Peter thought he had it all. That everything was alright. He was IN there. What could possibly be wrong?
Yet He Had These Moments
He would often wake up at night, suddenly, as if he had been in a nightmare. Sweating. Feeling unsettled. In the dark of those nights, he would feel it. This itch. This call for MORE. A voice whispering: you are BORED. Uninspired. Stuck. Is this how you wish to live your life? 9 to 5 and then home to the lovely kids and wife … You could change and choose YOUR path. Set yourself free. Shine …
He tried really hard to silence that voice. After all he had been taught to be loyal. To his family. To his employer. He valued being loyal. He was praised for being loyal. Good boy …
Okay there were some minor issues at work. Peter did not feel fully validated. Taken for granted. His ideas for improvement got lost in the wild sea of political games. Games he did not feel like playing. And at home … he loved his wife and kids. But where had the fun Peter gone? The go getting sportive kid on the block. For office games may not have interested him, playing sports most certainly did! The 24/7 work-home-work-home left little time to play. Peter constantly hit “this is how we do it” walls. Wherever he looked. These walls boxed him in. Kept him nice and quiet in a golden cage.
Loyal… It Had Always Sounded So Positive
Until I pointed out to them loyal has another meaning: “faithful to any person or thing conceived as deserving fidelity”. Yes you are reading this right: CONCEIVED as deserving. Being loyal has its limits. If you stay loyal to a person, thing or cause that is not truly really fully worthy of your loyalty, take note!
Best listen to that voice in your head, to your gut. It knows, you see. It can tell the story underneath the fake security presented as the one and only reality. In the words of the infamous Dr Phil: there is no reality, only perception.
It was time for Peter turn the camera on him and take a loyalty-selfie!
I’ll be honest – Peter was camera-shy at first. The concept of putting himself first, it was daunting to say the least. When faced with choices, people think it is about choosing A or B. It never is! It is all about choosing YOU. Once you choose you, every other choice will fall into place. Effortlessly.
Peter had at first REALISED that changing did not mean giving up security. Security he found deep within himself. ANALYSING those whispers and dreams, bringing them from the dark of the night to the light of day. How? By simply jotting them down in a little notebook. To which he also added quotes and thoughts that he “coincidentally” stumbled upon. On loyalty. On love. On self. On business. On sports. On fun. A story unfolded, right in front of his eyes. Peter was “re-taling” his perceptions. Out came a vision of a man, who he thought he had lost long ago. A visionary. A most talented man – in business and in sports. A rock – unmovable by others yet with burning lava inside of him.
It was time to CATALYSE that vision. Peter found the courage to open up meaningful conversations with his wife. About the way the family was run – almost businesslike. About how that could and should change. About how more time for each of them in the relationship, but also for them as a couple in the family, would benefit everybody. About the dreams they once had – and how these could not only become true, but that there were bigger dreams to be dreamed! Time was set apart for Peter to engage in sports. To EXERCISE. Off he went. Releasing stress along the way.
Giving him a great sense of freedom. Fueling him up for changes in the work-place.
Peter dropped a one-liner to a headhunter. Simply saying: we should talk. Within a week he had landed himself a dream-job. Honouring both his need for independence and his wish to add value to a team. Peter had simply chosen … PETER!
From there it was easy to make changes in both his personal and business life. It was about time to take that loyalty-selfie – and let me tell you, there was no need to turn on the flash! Peter was SHINING.
As can you – listen to those whispers. Speak out loud what they are telling you. Choose YOU. You are worth it.
(*Peter goes by many names – what is in a name, after all … All that matters is how his story can inspire you to set yourself free!)